Cat Haiku

I need to make a public apology. I posted what I thought were funny Haiku lines in a comment on a very nice person's blog, and I think I may have offended her. And I'm really, really sorry if I did!! This person is a cat lover, as am I, and the lines I shared were from an email I received years ago that made me laugh hysterically. You see, my kitty Cleopatra (see my sidebar photo) was one of those cats that lived happily with us, but we were always pretty sure she thought of us as some bizarre sub-species. When I saw these lines of Cat Haiku, I could so totally picture Miss Cleo authoring them that to this day they make me smile. I share them now for all of you who have known these kinds of wonderfully superior beings! (And I mean that in only the kindest way!)

(And if I did offend my blog friend with my stupid sense of humor, please, please forgive me!)


CAT HAIKU

The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.


So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle's closer


There's no dignity
In being sick - which is why
I don't tell you where.


Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.


Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation,
One star; service: none.


Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow's taken.


Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I've lost interest.


The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.


My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?


Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.


My affection is conditional.
Don't stand up,
It's your lap I love.


Cats can't steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail's
Pulled again, I'll learn.


I don't mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.


So you call this thing
Your "cat carrier." I call
These my "blades of death."


Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I'm convinced:
You're an idiot.

That last one was my favorite. Cleopatra was always incredibly not amused. :-)
Have a great day everyone!
Lezlie